The Games Game

Dealing with a Bad Boss (August 2006)

Dear Tom,

II was just reading your May column, "Being Loyal to Yourself," and I wanted to write with a dissenting opinion. You advised Chuck:

"If you're insecure about your future, talk to your boss. ... If he's a good boss, he'll be as honest with you as he can, and he'll offer you a good reference. It's possible that your boss doesn't know what the future holds either - his job, too, might be on the chopping block."

So here's the thing, see. This advice is predicated on Chuck having a good boss. But what are the odds? I mean, I've worked for a lot of bad bosses. What if Chuck's is one of those?

• If he's a bad boss, he wouldn't be honest with Chuck about much of anything.
• A bad boss would probably stab Chuck in the back when his potential employer calls.
• If a bad boss suspected his own job might be in jeopardy, then wouldn't he want to get the job Chuck applies for, for himself?

If Chuck's boss is one of the bad ones, then Chuck could be hurting himself by following your advice. Chuck should look for work quietly, and when he gets another job, quit as a fait accompli.

Dear Auntie,

I believe that in this industry, bad bosses are the exception, not the norm. Still, if you stay in a business long enough, you come across everything eventually. So let's deal with the question: "What do I do if I have a bad boss?"

1. Educate yourself.

When faced with someone who seems like a bad boss, I recommend heading to the bookstore. In the business section, you're sure to find some books that tell how to deal with difficult personalities, clients, coworkers, and bosses (for example). I recommend you go to the bricks-and-mortar store. Scan the titles, make an outing of it. Getting yourself out to the bookstore makes you feel like you're being pro-active, and maybe you can walk out of the store with something that can start helping you right away.

2. Try to make it work.

The book will outline some ways you can try to improve your relationship with your boss. You owe it to your project, your company, and to yourself to give it a try.

3. If it doesn't work, look for another job.

If, after reading the book and trying its advice, you find that there's just no way to deal with your boss, then it's time to look elsewhere. Be discreet about it.

4. Regarding telling prospective employers why you are leaving.

At interviews for other jobs, don't rant about your bad boss. Professionals don't tell prospective employers, "the guy I work for now is a real jerk." Be cool. Something like, "we have differing work styles," or "a mutual parting of the ways," are code words that anybody should understand. ("Don't ask. I'm trying to be cool here.") When you couch something this way, they get the impression that you may be more professional than the situation you're leaving. If you rant about the bad boss, they may suspect that, instead, the real problem is you.

5. Do not burn your bridges.

When you quit, do it nicely. Give two weeks notice. Whatever you do, don't say those things you've been holding inside. Be professional about it. The industry is still a relatively small community...

Uncle Tom