Culture Clash Jul09

(July 2009)

Developer in a Bottle
Self-destruction and stressful jobs
By Matthew Sakey

At a conference not long ago, a colleague and I happened to be discussing The Business within earshot of some students, who wandered over, probably expecting to pick up tips or interesting trivia on how to make friends and influence people in the games industry.

Unfortunately we were tired, and hungry, and not really thinking about what we were saying before we said it; embroiled in an earnest conversation about the likelihood that alcoholism, drug abuse, and depression are incredibly rampant in the games industry - much more so, we opined, than in many other fields. As the students backed away slowly, eyes wide with terror, wondering if their mothers had been right all along in saying there was no healthy future in videogames, the two of us carried animatedly on, fueled by a revelation that had come during a presentation hours earlier. A developer had blandly revealed that he'd acquired a drinking problem thanks to one particularly tortuous project, and followed it up with an only half-facetious suggestion that such things happen a lot on the business. In the high-pressure world of game development, it's probably a pretty common story. It is, after all, an outlandishly stressful job.

I know, I know, the air traffic controllers and neurosurgeons of the world are rolling their collective eyes. But everyone's jobs are stressful to them, and besides, no one made you become an air traffic controller or a neurosurgeon. Plus I'd bet alcoholism, drug abuse, and depression are pretty common in those professions as well.

Before we go on I should admit I have absolutely nothing to back up the postulation that game developers are more likely than others to be problem drinkers, or Vicodin addicts, or melancholes. I have no surveys, few first-hand admissions, and essentially nothing on which to base the viewpoint. But I do have a two-part theory.

The first part of it is that - air traffic controllers and neurosurgeons be damned - game development is really stressful. Hundred-hour weeks, cancelled projects, brutal press reviews, public vilification, evil publisher reps, killer deadlines, nasty fans… yeah, it's enough to drive a person to drink. But the core reason may be more about the kinds of people who are attracted to games and game development as a profession: intense, emotional, imaginative, and - dare I say it - often unhappy people for whom the idea of imagining and creating other worlds is very appealing, despite the stress.

I've written about escapism many times before, it's sort of a pet theory of mine. Gamers fill the whole spectrum, from the casual to the super hardcore, but I think the ones who go out of their way to describe themselves as "gamers" generally fit into a certain demographic, one which includes an active imagination and less-than-stellar opinion of human existence. I'm not saying all gamers (or, by extension, all game developers) share this view, but I do think that a large segment of the developer/game consumer population are unusually eager to visit alternative realities. After all, Edward Castronova revealed years ago that 40% of respondents to his survey would quit Earth completely to go live in Everquest if they could; that was back when a subscriber base of 400,000 was considered huge. I do wonder how many WoW players would bolt for Azeroth if the opportunity presented itself, and of course that doesn't even touch single player games, games in which we assume the identities and adventures of individuals who lead far more exciting and fantastical lives than most of us do.

The concept of escapism doesn't necessarily mean a permanent change of residence. Sure, some people would rather live in Everquest than here, but plenty of others are happy just visiting now and then. This is something videogames are exceptionally good at realizing, and it may be why people who sought that level of escape first adopted videogames. Now that the entertainment is becoming more mainstream, we're seeing a lot of people who consume it just as that - entertainment. But for the hardcore, the veterans of the Wily Wars, the ones who remember a time when no one knew Samus was a girl, who solved the Grumble Grumble puzzle, those for whom certain places and things and even smells bring back memories of beloved games resolutely played, earnestly discussed, and deeply loved; for them there is also a strong sense of liberation from the fetters of normal life that comes with a good game. Without getting too blunt about it, certain kinds of hobbies (like videogames and tabletop roleplaying) attract a certain kind of person. And while we all know the disparaging terms with which one can describe that demographic, it's worth recognizing that these people are also the ones who actively seek out escape. Depression feeds into this too; consider the fact that people with genuine chronic depression, stress-induced or otherwise, are typically the ones most likely to look for escape routes from the bad feelings.

And that's how it all goes back to booze and drugs, two other indispensible escapist tools. Nothing banishes feelings of depression (or puts you on another plane) like a good three day bender, especially when it's liberally supplemented by pills or paint thinner or herbal remedies. Obviously it's not healthy, certainly not as healthy as a good videogame or sit-down for some D&D with friends, but hey, it works, it's cheap, and frankly depressed people aren't famous for making only the healthiest decisions, particularly when they're stressed.

We can all agree that game development is a stressful job, and a hard one. This is part of the reason that over 50% of developers leave the industry within 10 years. It's not surprising that developers may find themselves turning to chemical remedies, not just to stave off the stress or keep unhappiness at bay, but to manage the insane hours and incredible pressure that are still part and parcel of the business. What's sad is that some out there still insist that pressure and misery are core to making a good game, shortsightedly failing to realize what other problems such conditions may cause.