Culture Clash Nov09

Every month, Matthew Sakey discusses culture-oriented issues of gaming, ranging from the evolution of critical language for understanding the new medium to the culture of gaming and how the nongaming public perceives the industry.

Body and (Demon’s) Soul
Sometimes, they hurt us
By Matthew Sakey

Leftovers: last month I scoffed at the idea of game addiction. Scoffed! Now I’m being punished for my scoffery, and I have to revisit the issue. My shame knows no bounds.

I have developed what can only be described as an unhealthy obsession with Demon’s Souls. Perhaps by the time you read these words, I’ll be free of it; at this moment, though, I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

Understand, however, that this is not an addiction in the traditional sense. The “reward center” of my brain is not being stimulated. Well, it is, but that’s not the point. No, my relationship with Demon’s Souls is more like that of an abused spouse who consistently returns to their abuser, even going so far as to make excuses for the abuser’s behavior.

Demon’s Souls only hurts me when I deserve it.

Demon’s Souls really loves me. It just that sometimes when it drinks, it gets nasty.

Demon’s Souls is just under a lot of pressure at work right now.

Demon’s Souls beats me when I’m careless; it’s my fault.

And it really is my fault that Demon’s Souls hurts me the way it does. Is it still abuse if you’ve brought it on yourself? I mean, you gotta understand, people, that this is a game I’ve now invested about 100 hours in and made essentially no substantive progress. Sure, I’m advancing, but in the scheme of things we’re on the first step of the thousand-mile journey here. And I am not alone in this; one of my own writers lamented what Demon’s Souls had done to him, and he’s clearly way better at it than I am, because he killed the damn Dragon God. Leigh Alexander’s review does a great job of explaining why so many hardened gamers, so many people who should know better, so many people who have gone on record as saying that Demon’s Souls is the sort of game they’d hate, have become enslaved by it:

It’s heartbreaking but immersive, that rare occasion that a game truly makes players feel like heroes facing down impossible odds. And every success, hard-won one grueling inch at a time, is likely to keep them coming back for more.

So here I am, absolutely not a grind gamer, grinding away evening after evening. And for some odd reason I also feel compelled to report on my activities to my friends via email, despite the fact that none of them know anything about the game or care about my status in it. I spend hours poring over the Wiki, seeking wisdom from my betters.

Demon’s Souls manages to be an outstandingly put-together game in defiance of all logical interpretation. The mechanics and style could have been a disaster, but From Software did its work well, and now it’s hauling in hordes of new disciples. Of course this is the sign of a well-done game, not an actual addiction. When you consider the level of derangement displayed by those who oppose gaming on the grounds of addiction (such as those in this TOTALLY AWESOME article here) versus the level of derangement that Demon’s Souls has caused in me (obsessing over the wiki and doing the Shrine of Storms about a bazillion times), you must ask – who’s the addict? The gamer, or the people so obsessed with proving games are addictive that they lose sight of all reason and rationality?

Two factors mark my devotion to Demon’s Souls as unusual. One, we’re in the middle of the Holiday Massacre right now and I, like most industry observers, analysts, and journalists, am barely keeping my head above water. Two, the natural constraints of Being An Adult mean that I don’t have the time to play games quite as relentlessly as I once did. These two factors are interrelated: not only do I not play games as much as I used to, I’m buried under the holiday release schedule. I am still a Core gamer – the segment most commonly accused of addiction – despite playing less, while many World of Warcraft “addicts” would probably consider themselves Casual gamers because it’s all they play and all they have any interest in playing.

Since I wrote last month’s column, Kotaku’s Mike Fahey wrote a very powerful and candid article about his own addiction to Everquest, and how it nearly destroyed him. This article had a profound effect on me, as it did on many readers, not only for Fahey’s courage and willingness to wear his soul on his sleeve, but for his willingness to say what so many naysayers refuse to:

It would be easy for me to pin my problems on EverQuest…  I could say I fell prey to an addictive video game that nearly ruined my life, but I would know that wasn't the case.

I hid. I ran from my problems, hiding away in a virtual fantasy world instead of confronting the issues that might have been easily resolved if I had addressed them directly. As far as I am concerned, the only thing Sony Online Entertainment is guilty of is creating a damn good hiding place.

Alcoholics and heroin addicts can die if abruptly denied their substance. This is the nature of physical addiction. The same is not true of games or many other things labeled “addictive.” Yes, yes, yes, all these things stimulate the same “reward centers” and cause the release of endorphins. But as I argued last month, the crusade has subtly changed. The endeavor to block access to dangerous substances has turned into a war against happiness of all kinds. I will readily acknowledge that games can become a habit, an at-times dangerous one, for certain people. But as Fahey argues, his “addiction” was really a way of avoiding his problems. Games are escapism, pure and simple. Sometimes some people escape too much and can’t find their way back.

Demon’s Souls has in fact interfered with my playing other games. I still haven’t finished Prototype or Valkyria Chronicles because Demon’s Souls intervened. Interference with other activities is part of the definition of addiction. What’s baffling to me is that I could consistently have my ass handed to me as often as I have in Demon’s Souls and still keep going back to it. I have the videogame equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

But as long as people are able to control themselves and their activities, as long as they don’t participate in the ruination of their own life or the lives of others, then I say let them be. But frankly, we really should take a look at these people who are so against game addiction. They seem kind of addicted to their whole crusade.

Matts Bio

Matthew Sakey is a professional writer, designer, and interactive media analyst. In addition to writing the monthly Culture Clash column for the IGDA website, Matt also maintains the popular gaming and entertainment site www.tap-repeatedly.com. His work has appeared in several other publications, Games for Windows: the Official Magazine, Develop, The Escapist, Game Developer, and Play Meter. Matt serves as an industry consultant and analyst, working with developers on story and gameplay, educators on curricula for game studies, and corporate clients seeking to leverage games-based technology for e-Learning. For more information, visit www.matthewsakey.net or email matthewsakey@comcast.net.

© 2009 Matthew Sakey. All rights reserved.

The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily represent the IGDA.